I want to talk about a toxic mindset today.
I hate to say this, but this is definitely true. There is always someone who tries to put you down and discourage you to improve your life. At least one person in life. Actually, it’s not necessarily people. Sometimes, it could be media. Here is what they look like;
Think about it for a sec, I’m sure you definitely have someone like that at least one person, right? (I’m actually very struggling with those people right now, but I don’t wanna talk about it now..)
Sometimes, those people are your friends or even your family. Because of that, it’s so hard to ignore or cut them off, and you just have to deal with it.
Let’s say you made up your mind to move to Japan. Not surprisingly, they immediately try to convince you not to go to Japan by telling you a lot of misconceptions or bad things about Japan and Japanese people.
Sure, maybe they just care about you and try to help you out. But, maybe they just want to prevent you from changing your life better. I’ve been running into many people like that.
Whichever the case may be, your choice is only yours in the end. What you truly want to do only matters.
A UK friend of mine told me the other day.
“Nobita, my friends say being fat is illegal in Japan. I’m so scared to go there. I wish I was skinny like Japanese girls..“
This is not just her. Many foreign women still believe that and some of them got convinced not to go to Japan.
No matter how many videos I make to convine them it’s not true, it seems like they don’t listen..
Take a look at the below video. This is the video her friends showed her as a “proof”.
This is the great example which gives you a toxic mindset into your mind.
A lot of people have asked me about this video.
“Nobita, this is really true? Tell me the truth honestly. Maybe I have to give up going to Japan. I don’t wanna embarrass myself.“
Come on, guys! It is NOT!
You already know that, right?
If Japan didn’t allow you to be overweight, why a lot of sumo wrestlers even exist in Japan? Why a lot of overweight Japanese comedians are very popular in Japan?
I have some friends including Japanese who are quite big size, and they have no problem to live in Japan. They don’t get any serious discrimination or some bad punishment by the law just because of their size.
I’m not saying being overweight is totally OK. Of course, it sometimes means you’re not heathy and you should definitely do something about it if you want to change it.
But, in the end, your look is just a small part of all you. It doesn’t nearly represent you. So, why don’t you stop focusing on that too much?
Think about it.
Would you like to date someone who is extremely good looking but has a horrible and abusing personality? Or, would you rather date someone who is not so good looking but has a open-minded and sweet personality just like you?
If you would immediately choose the latter, why you even care about your look? It’s just meaningless.
I feel too many people overthink about looks especially nowadays. They think like “Looks are everything!” and assume everyone around them judge them just base on the looks.
I know someone who is a very hot like a supermodel but really bad personality.
Actually, I went to go on a date with her twice. She constantly demanded me to pay money everywhere and was pretending like a princess. I was so stupid but just kept paying money for her. I knew she was a horrible bitch gold digger but couldn’t say No because I was attracted by her..
After she noticed I’m not the guy who has a lot of money, she just left from me.
That experience is one of the reasons I often say on my videos “Looks don’t matter!”. I really don’t want to judge someone based on the look. And I really don’t want anyone to judge themselves just by the shape they can see in a mirror.
Just because we are genetically skinny, it doesn’t mean we dislike big size people. We already know your size doesn’t reflect your personality.
I have to admit the fact that some Japanese men prefer slim girls when it comes to dating. When I interviewed to some my Japanese guy friends if they would date chubby girls or not, most of them honestly told me it’s NO.
I have a guilty about the video. So many women got discouraged after watching it. (Maybe I shouldn’t have uploaded.) And maybe that’s one of the reasons why you’re insecure about your size right now.
That does NOT represent all Japanese guys’ opinions. Not even close. It’s just a tiny tiny small sample in Tokyo. Don’t forget there are millions of other Japanese men who have no problem with dating a chubby woman in Japan.
When it comes to looks, everyone has a certain physical preference and Nobody can criticize about that.
Some people prefer white guys, some people prefer Asian girls, and some people just prefer slim girls.
But, in the end, I can definitely say that looks do NOT matter.
This is my Japanese friend, Daichi. You’ve probably seen him a lot in my videos, right?
To be honest with you, I would definitely fall in love with this guy if I was gay. Not because he’s so handsome and good looking, but because he always looks on the bright side in life as well as bad side.
He’s good at finding a good part of a person and appreciates it. He is the type of guy you can get a positive energy and want to hang out as a friend.
You know what?
He said he’s totally OK to date a chubby girl as long as he likes her personality. He completely does not care what she looks like.
So does the Japanese guys below.
A lot of girls assume they can’t date any Japanese guy unless they’re slim and good looking. That’s simply not true. Of course, it applies to some guys.
But, I actually met so many handsome good looking Japanese guys who said it’s totally OK to date a chubby girl as long as they like the personality. They know what kind of girl actually makes them happy.
The fact those high quality Japanese men are completely OK to date chubby girls is more than enough reason for you not to give a fuck about your size in Japan.
And more importantly, everyone has a different definition of “Good looking”.
What society definites as an attractive girl doesn’t apply to everyone. Maybe only you think you’re not attractive but other people think you are.
This is not just girls. And this is not just about size.
A lot of foreign guys are saying me they’re very insecure about the looks.
How ridiculous is that..
Dude, look at the ugly Japanese guy below. Even the unattractive nerdy dude is totally OK to talk with girls in Japan. Why not you are?
(BTW, I was called “The Ugliest Guy” when I was in college. )
OK, when you come to Japan, I want you to do me just one favor.
Go to a very crowed spot and look at everyone’s face around you.
(Obviously, you don’t need to hold the signboard “Kiss Me!”. )
And ask yourself.
I know the answer.
It’s completely Zero.
The truth is, we are not interested in you no matter who you are (unless you’re a celebrity or famous person). I’m sorry if you feel offended, but honestly, we are more interested in other things and don’t have the time to think about your look.
Nobody cares about your look in the end.
So, again. Why you care about your look? It’s just waste of your time, isn’t it?
From “How To Find The One In Japan“
Just like you don’t care about other people’s size, face or color, most people in Japan don’t care either.
Even if they actually care, so what? All you do is just ignore them and focus on what matters to you in your life.
Whichever the case may be, if you feel other people care about you, that’s only in your head. Only if you believe so, it will becomes a reality. So, please. Don’t care about your size. Don’t let anything stop you to find your love in Japan!
Fact; Some Japanese guys prefer chubby girls when it comes to dating. It’s called “デブ専” (Debusen). They say chubby girls look more sweet, calm, and easy-going. They’re very attracted by someone who is big size and only date them.
That’s why you absolutely do NOT have to worry about your look even if you’re overweight in Japanese standard. Some people in Japan like you, just the way you are. All you need is just find one of them. That’s the main purpose of my channel, Find Your Love in Japan.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read this post. If you like it, make sure to share to your social media!